The Pledge

She was searching for some document, through the pile of wanted and unwanted papers. She was running late to the office, which was a part of her daily routine. Lately, she was having trouble sleeping. She was also getting forgetful. She had almost turned anorexic. But, she thought it was normal given her work-pressure. She had turned her room upside down in search of that document. She did find it eventually. Just as when she was closing the folder, her eyes fell on a paper. She pulled it out of the folder and flipped it around while she tried to shake her memory up as to how she got hold of that paper. The paper read Pledge Form in big bold letters.

It was an incident that had happened a year back, when a Blood Donation Camp, from a well-known hospital, was organised in her office. Although she couldn't donate blood since she was under-weight, she was there to accompany a friend. 

She stood in a corner while she saw a nurse prick a needle into a vein on her friend's arm. Seconds later, she saw blood flowing into the collection tube.
Suddenly, she felt weak. She felt sick. She could feel her head wobble, just looking at all that blood. 

She shifted her gaze as she couldn't take it any more. She saw a bunch of people gathered around a table. A few appeared as though they were inquiring about something with a nurse sitting at the table and a few others were signing up some kind of form. Just then, a well-dressed man, maybe in his forties, his face as-though aglow with wisdom approached her. She noticed that a man had a few forms in his hand.

He said, "I really appreciate you helping out mam."

"Oh well, I am not donating blood. My friend is." said she.

He said "Ah. Very well mam. We have set up a booth.Would you care to donate your organs, mam?"

There was a long awkward pause.

It wasn't that she was ignorant. She had read about Organ Donation. The thought of becoming a donor had never crossed her mind. Like any other person, she had her doubts about it. But, the man had caught her completely off-guard.

It was high time she broke her silence, thought she. The man, after-all was expecting an answer. All she could come up with was "I need to think about it."

"Donate my organs? What am I gonna get buried a skeleton?" thought her mind.

"Sure mam. Think all you want. But mam, you are not going to take them with you when you die, you know." said he.

She took the forms from him while she thought again "Donate my organs? What if it disfigures my body and what if I can't have an open casket funeral? What if all this is a big racket?". That and many other thoughts that raced through her mind as she waved goodbye. 

Maybe they were all true or maybe not. But she didn't bother to get them cleared. The slightest idea of someone even remotely cutting her body open, even if she was dead didn't go well with her; let alone donating organs after death.

That was that. She had forgotten all about it, until now. 

She put the papers back in the folder and left in a hurry.

The night had fallen. She came back home at 9, got freshened up. Dinner was ready. Her parents were already seated at the table and were waiting for her.

She had had a long day in office and she didn't want to engage herself in small talk. While her parents were chatting, she started to feel a strong pain in her lower abdomen. She started coughing to the point where she couldn't eat anymore. Minutes later, her pain grew severe. She was immediately rushed to the hospital.

She lay on the hospital bed with a dozen wires connected to her body. She was under heavy medication and a lot of pain, her heart filled with fear.

She heard the doctor talk to her father, "We are very sorry. We are unable to find a match for your daughter's liver". Her liver was 80% damaged. A liver transplant was the only tiny little hope the doctors had.

They say that when you are breathing your last, you see your life come back in flashes, all of it. You see your loved ones. It was none of that for her. All she could see was a face. It was the face of the man she had met at the Blood Donation Camp. She then fell unconscious.

A little later, she could feel her body getting lighter and lighter as though she was floating in air. She could hear a voice; a voice far away; that was shouting her name. She could feel the voice growing closer and closer. It was time.

"WAKE UP. You are getting late, AGAIN" shouted her mom. That night she was so tired that she hit the sack without even having dinner and dozed off as if she hadn't slept in ages.

She opened her eyes. Everything seemed hazy as though she was just out of a trance. She woke up, sat on her bed, trying to re-collect the dream.

She knew what she wanted to do and she was at peace with her decision.

She got up from the bed, walked to the drawer, pulled out those forms and signed them.

She was wide awake now.

Mighty Deed

She watched the rain drops race by on the window of her car. She was exactly at the same place where she was a year before, from where she had started it all.She was standing in front of Abhaya Anathaashram and it started to rain as soon as she pulled in.

She had quit her job a year ago, her flourishing career, a result of 3 years of hard-work. Her bank balance was depleting. She had come a long way and there was no turning back now.

She wanted to start an NGO of her own like Abhaya. She thought getting her NGO registered would be the toughest task. But, she was wrong. She had done everything from bringing in like-minded people to form a governing body for the NGO to getting it registered. But, the biggest task in front of her now, was raising funds for her NGO.

She left no stone unturned. Yet she had lost. There weren't many people or private organizations to help her. She didn't blame them, given the scams that they get to hear everyday. The least that she could manage was to rope in a few Corporate Organizations to fund, but that wasn't enough.

She still remembered her first day as a tutor at Abhaya. She saw a bunch of kids with curious eyes judging and assessing her. Over a lot of ice-creams and stories, she had earned a piece of their unconditional love. It seemed all so easy back then. She thought to herself "HOW can it be so difficult? I am doing a good thing here. How?"

Her thoughts were broken by a knock on her window. She wiped the film of vapor on the window from her hand to see who it was. It was Raaji, her favorite kid of the lot, with an umbrella. Raaji was studying in 10th and wanted to become a dancer. She instantly opened the door of the car to hear Raaji say "Akka, You should have called up. I would have got an umbrella".
Raaji took her arm and led her into the house not waiting for her to answer.

The house was upbeat with inane laughter as always. She wondered how the kids managed to stay so cheerful every single day. Raaji went in to get a cup of tea for her. She sat down wiping her hands from a towel. She heard Darshan saying "I want to become a Doctor you know, the one that takes care of dogs. I'll prepare some kind of lotion for people so that when the dog bites with it's canine teeth, it wont hurt people."
She thought if she would ever be able to help the kids to hold on to their innocence against all the things that were trying to steal it from them. Because she had lost her's, over the years.

Her train of thoughts was broken again when she saw a mailman at the door-step. It was a courier, addressed to her. She was pleasantly surprised looking at the From Address. She opened the letter and started to read in a hurry.

The last few words shook her balance, literally. The letter said "As a token of appreciation and thankyou for your support, we want to help you in return." In the envelope was a cheque for one lakh rupees addressed to her NGO, Samarthya.

It was a letter from an NGO, to which she was sending money from her salary, 500 rupees every month from the past 3 years.

But she couldn't understand why would they want to help her. She looked up from the letter to find Raaji with a cup of tea.

Raaji said with a chuckle, "I wrote them a little letter you know, about your situation."
She smiled and went on to say "Your lessons came in handy."

She felt a choke in her throat and eyes moisten up.

Poem..?! Not quite there yet!

When your dreams were long gone; like ashes in the air
You built a new dream about me

You say "My heart is filled with pride because of your glory"

I say "My glory is having you beside me"

When your life was in pieces

You longed to put the pieces of my life together

You say "I never got to live a life like yours"

I say "I can never be like you; ever"

When your hand goes out to wipe my tears

I am unaware that your soul cries a river

When your wishes fell on deaf ears
You made my wishes come true; as though; magically

In the face of impossible;
I say "I'm frightened"
You say "Get Inspired. There's always a way out"

When days pass by and memories fade away
Your love for me only grows more
You are the very reason

Of my existence; For my existence

When you smile; the God of my imagination takes a human form

You say that "I am the reason of your smile"
I say "I am not even worth to be in your life"

When I lose my faith in the cosmic bodies;
I notice the reason; Why the world is still a better place to live in

It's because of You...Amma!

Mid-20-Crisis

Mid 20's...

There's something insanely funny about the mid 20's..

Well..for starters...you compare it with your early 20's when you were a college going kid..the times when you thought you were the most hip-n-happening kid on the block while your dad kept yelling away "You are not getting anywhere with that attitude of yours.."

You have a few crushes..a few flings...you think you have "life" figured out just as when you end up in a boring corporate conference room where people are talking about making "Action-plans" but somehow as soon as you get out of the room..god knows HOW but the "action" is all vanished and you are only left with "plans".

Slowly you start to realize the same holds good for your personal life as well...

Well now's the time when when you go through a lot of whatthehellamidoingwithmylife thought process which honestly dosent take you anywhere either..!

You here a lot of gyaan all around..mostly coz it's free of cost..!

There's a very dear friend of mine whose dad tells "Iss duniya mai kisi ko 2 rupaye de do..lekin gyaan mat do..sab moorkh hain.."  I totally agree with him and there are many people who need to follow this..! :P

I just got off track there..coming back to the mid 20's..

You come back home from office; switch on your laptop and log in on to Skype since you also need to give time to your onagainoffagain relationship with your gf/bf..

Then you start to realize that your job is actually a joke and what you do is probably the most pettiest thing on earth!

Then comes the time when the whole world is bothered about your next promotion and/or marraige..while all you have been doing is to visit the same old restaurant for the umpteenth time...

You look at yourself in the mirror and you look awful coz there's nothing much in life to do other than boozing...(Long Live Old Monk..Erasing pain,trouble and brain-cells since godknowswhenitwasintroduced)

You notice a new grey hair..you think you have moved on..grown mature enough ..but in reality you are only stuck in second gear...!

Cheers to the mid-twenties...! :)